Ah back in league cricket after my fortnight attempting to bully schoolboys and proper umps for the match. Panel men for a home game at the Walker; sunny day, the skipper won the toss and a placid looking pitch; great day to score a ton. “Can you do 8 for me and start the scoring and er do the first 10 overs yeah” the captain said.
Er have I slept with your wife or roasted your children over a spit I thought. So I sat in the scorebox and watched our regular no 11 batsman open the batting. Skipper was experimenting. Still I love scoring, really love it, like I love reading Melanie Phillips. Into bat at 90 for 6 after 29 overs. (100 overs games. No side can bat more than 57, declare at 50 and you get 4 points for the draw etc.) Get your hundred from here hey. In the June drought the wicket had been watered all week. Slow, soft on top, but hard underneath it was impossible to bat on. The team collapsed. Went in and batted like all top order league batsmen do- for them bloody selves. Bad ball parasites and single nudgers the lot of them. It’s what you do to get your 30/40, the par score, so you don’t get dropped. Enjoy ma demise today. It’s what happens when you bat sensibly. We were all out for 140. They were 40 for 3 before the monsoon.
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