I played for this club in the past and couldn’t buy a run for them. I came -a la Greig- to make them grovel but was jennergored by a half blind, half deaf ‘home’ umpire for a two ball duck. These aren’t insults. They are a medical record of his senses. I’ve had a look at the film. The angle doesn’t show you how awful it was. There was a very suspicious huddle round the umpire as I walked in.
I’m sure their skipper told their umpire to give anything that hit my pad out. I can’t accept it was just a bad decision by a man with one eye and one ear. I have looked for a conspiracy. There must have been one because I was dismissed by the sports psychologist who was supposed to be help me get this hundred.