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Category Archives: Batting

v Hampshire Hogs, Warnford

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It pissed down. Didn’t want to play. One of our players stormed off calling our captain unprintable things. Got out to a raspberry blower bowler.

v Incogniti, at Finchley CC

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Incogs were a great wondering side once. When I’ve played against them, they have had a hardcore of old men and the rest are ringers and overseas pros.

v Cryptics at Datchett CC

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Runs, runs and at a decent pace until I was caught at deep long off. I quickly forgot that Cryptics bowled with a sodden ball, that they didn’t have a proper keeper, that the legside boundary was tiny etc.

v Royal Air Force, Vine Lane

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This wicket is a bloody road. Got 30 and then holed out. RAF had one speedster who’d played for Durham. He says they timed him in the mid 80s. He was a bit too quick for my liking. I tried to pull him and was so late on the shot that the ball ended up at short cover.

v Quidnuncs, Ashtead Park

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Quidnuncs are a Cambridge University side for cricket blues and near blues.

v United Hospitals CC,

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What do you do when you chide your batting partner for ambling a single that could have been two and he barks at you ‘get back in your cage mate, I know you don’t score very many’.

v Richmond CC

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I played for this club in the past and couldn’t buy a run for them. I came -a la Greig- to make them grovel but was ormsbygored by a half blind, half deaf ‘home’ umpire for a two ball duck.

v Milton Abbey Hornets

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I scored 59 but my count on film says it’s 67. They weren’t the worst attack in the world. They weren’t the best attack either. I rode my luck and survived several chances.

Cricket week, the Close

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Hell, it rained all week. Not a ball bowled. I spent a bit of the winter sending missives about the sorry state the of ex inmates cricket week. When I saw the fixtures for the ‘week’, there was marmalade on my kitchen walls. God, get a life. I wish I could.

v Waifs, Bradfield

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A 2 day game, 2 innings and god blessed Berkshire with 2 days of sun. First innings was abject. I edged two 4’s through the slips and finally guided one to the keeper’s gloves. This is personal. This game is telling me something.